Julia Israelski, LCSW, PMH-C
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​Therapy Isn’t Making People Afraid to Parent—It’s Helping Them See Clearly

6/9/2025

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A recent New York Times article, "There’s a link between therapy culture and Childlessness", stirred up a lot of conversation by suggesting that therapy might be driving more people to opt out of parenthood. The piece implies that as therapy helps people name their childhood wounds, it’s also fostering fear—fear of becoming like one’s own parents, fear of harming a child, fear of not getting it right. It paints therapy as something that leads to estrangement, over-identification with trauma, and a kind of paralysis around parenting.
But as a trauma therapist—and a mother—I want to offer a different perspective.
Good therapy doesn’t tell people they’re too broken to parent. It helps them understand why they feel that way. And often, it helps them recognize that those feelings are old stories—shaped by experiences where they didn’t get what they needed, not because they were unworthy or unlovable, but because the people and environment around them were struggling too.
Therapy helps people see that trauma isn’t just what happened. It’s how what happened shaped the way we saw ourselves.
And that’s a crucial distinction. Two people can live through the same event and walk away with completely different internal experiences. When we name something as trauma, we’re not assigning blame—we’re acknowledging that our nervous system had to make sense of something overwhelming, often alone.
Naming our experiences as trauma-related doesn’t lock us in. It creates space—a little bit of distance between the self and the story, between the blame and responsibility. That’s where healing begins. That’s where flexibility in thought starts to grow. And from that place, people can start to reexamine their assumptions about themselves, their parents, and what kind of parent they might become.
Therapy doesn’t create estrangement. Sometimes it helps people recognize that proximity to certain relationships keeps them stuck in old roles, old wounds, and survival strategies that no longer serve them. Sometimes, healing requires space.
And let me be clear: we are not wired to detach from our caregivers. We are wired for connection. Children will go to extraordinary lengths—emotionally, cognitively, even physically—to maintain closeness. So when someone reaches the conclusion that they need distance from a parent to heal, it’s not because therapy talked them into it. It’s because the relational dynamic offered no other way forward. That’s not the “easy way out.” That’s a deeply painful outcome born from an unmet longing for safety.
Sometimes, that space allows for repair down the road. Sometimes it doesn’t. But in either case, therapy helps people honor their limits and build the internal scaffolding for a more integrated self.
And here’s what the article misses most of all: therapy doesn’t make people afraid to parent; It acknowledges that parenting in our current environment and with our previous experiences is hard and helps them parent with more intention. It helps them say, “This hurt—I want to do it differently,” without needing to be perfect. It gives them language for rupture and repair. It helps them recognize when their fear is old and when their child is safe. It helps them break cycles—not because they’ve figured it all out, but because they’re finally paying attention.
And for those who choose not to have children, it’s not because they’re “too therapized.” It’s because they finally had the space to ask themselves, without pressure or guilt, “Is this what I truly want?” That’s not fear. That’s clarity.
So no, therapy isn’t making people fragile.
It’s helping them slow down and ask better questions.
It’s helping them tolerate the discomfort of uncertainty, rather than defaulting to inherited patterns.
It’s making space—for grief, for clarity, for intention.
That space can feel unfamiliar at first. Lonely, even. But it’s also where new things begin—new ways of relating, of parenting, of living. And that’s not something to be afraid of. That’s something to honor.
As a therapist, I’ve witnessed how brave it is to choose curiosity over certainty.
And as a parent, I know how deeply uncomfortable and disorienting that can be—especially when you’re trying to do it differently than what was modeled for you.
It doesn’t have to be perfect.
It just needs to be intentional—rooted in a willingness to grow.
And if having a therapist makes that easier, why question that?

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Supporting Your Partner Through Trauma Therapy: Understanding Complex PTSD and EMDR

3/25/2025

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So, your partner is in trauma therapy—maybe even doing EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)—and suddenly, they’re more sensitive. One minute, you’re talking about dinner plans, and the next, they’re deep in a spiral of emotions that don’t seem to match the situation. What’s going on? And more importantly, how do you support them without feeling like you’re walking on eggshells? Let’s break it down.

Understanding Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)
Think of C-PTSD like an old operating system that never got an update. It’s running in the background, affecting reactions, relationships, and even self-worth. Instead of responding to the present moment, the brain might be reacting to the past, as if it’s still happening. Therapy—especially EMDR—is like installing a long-overdue update, but sometimes, that process makes the whole system glitch before it runs smoother.

Why Trauma Therapy Can Increase Sensitivity
Imagine your brain is a cluttered attic filled with old, dusty boxes labeled “Stuff I Thought I Forgot.” Trauma therapy is like going through those boxes, sorting out what’s necessary, and finally tossing what’s been weighing you down. But in the process, you’re kicking up a lot of emotional dust. This can lead to: Sudden emotional outbursts (think: tripping over an emotional box marked “childhood”) Getting triggered by things that seem random to you but make total sense to them Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or extra sensitive to stress Moments of withdrawal or needing extra reassurance (sometimes both in the same day!) This isn’t a sign that therapy is going wrong—it’s proof that healing is happening. But it does mean they might need a little extra patience and understanding from you.

How You Can Support Your Partner
Being a supportive partner doesn’t mean becoming their therapist or their emotional sponge. Instead, think of yourself as a solid, steady Wi-Fi signal—offering connection, reliability, and the occasional reset when things get glitchy. Here’s how: 
Validate, Don’t Fix
Instead of trying to troubleshoot their emotions like a broken coffee machine, try:
“I can see this is tough for you. I’m here.” No need to solve—just acknowledge. 

Stay Present, Not Defensive If your partner’s reaction seems bigger than the situation calls for, remember: it’s probably more about an old memory than this moment. Instead of taking it personally, try thinking, “Oh, their brain just hit an emotional speed bump. Let’s ride this out.”

Encourage, Don’t Force, Coping Strategies
If they’re spiraling, remind them gently of grounding techniques they may be learning in therapy. Maybe a simple: “Hey, want to take a walk or do a breathing exercise together?” works better than "Why aren't you over this yet?" or “You should calm down.” (Spoiler: These never helps.)

Set Boundaries with Love
Supporting them doesn’t mean sacrificing your own needs. It’s okay to say: “I love you, and I want to support you, but I also need a little recharge time. Let’s find a way to balance this together.”

Model Healthy Self-Care
Your partner is in therapy working on themselves—so should you! (Not necessarily therapy, but things that keep you balanced.) Read, exercise, see friends—whatever keeps you feeling grounded. The best way to help them regulate is to stay regulated yourself.

Ask, Don’t Assume
Every person’s healing process is different. Instead of guessing, just ask: “What would feel helpful for you right now?” Sometimes, they need space. Sometimes, they need a snack. Sometimes, they just need you to sit beside them and scroll TikTok together.

Healing is a Team Sport (But You’re Not the Coach)
​Healing from trauma isn’t linear—it’s a messy, beautiful, sometimes exhausting process. Your partner is doing brave, deep work to heal old wounds, and while that’s amazing, it’s okay if it’s also a little challenging for you. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to show up, set healthy boundaries, and be a steady, supportive presence. And remember, humor and patience go a long way—on both sides!

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Why This Election Hits Different: A Trauma Therapist’s Perspective

11/7/2024

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For women, marginalized people, and allies, this election season has felt particularly charged, layered with complex emotions that are both personal and political. The idea of electing, Harris, the first black woman to office was exhilarating for many, a sign of change and hope, that was replaced with fear and rage when our country elected Trump. 

As a trauma therapist, I often hear clients describe feelings of fear, anger, exhaustion, and even a sense of helplessness tied to the outcomes of current events and policy decisions. In times like these, we’re reminded of just how intertwined our personal and collective experiences are, especially for those who already carry the weight of historical, systemic, or interpersonal trauma.

Why This Election Outcome is so Triggering:
Many survivors of trauma, particularly interpersonal trauma, feel that their voices or choices were dismissed or that they were made invisible during their most vulnerable moments. Election outcomes that marginalize or dismiss basic rights can feel eerily similar. This is because, for trauma survivors, the experience of feeling ignored, disempowered, or controlled by forces beyond their control taps into a familiar pattern of helplessness.

In my sessions with clients, I often see this come up as a sense of re-traumatization—a feeling that the harm they’ve experienced is repeating itself in a different form. When policy decisions reinforce systems that silence, oppress, or undervalue certain groups, it can feel like being retraumatized by society itself. And this time, it’s not just one’s personal trauma that’s activated, but a sense of collective trauma that adds to the weight we’re all carrying.

1. An Erosion of Safety
For many, safety is not just about physical protection but about feeling secure in our basic rights and dignities. When election outcomes challenge those rights—such as reproductive rights, healthcare access, or anti-discrimination protections—it can feel like an immediate threat to our personal safety and autonomy. For trauma survivors, in particular, safety is a fundamental pillar in the healing process. When we see this being undermined on a systemic level, it’s not uncommon to experience heightened anxiety, distress, and a feeling that our bodies and minds are on high alert.

2. Being Forced into Hypervigilance
When the outcomes of elections impact our basic rights or well-being, it’s as if our bodies move into survival mode. We may become hyperaware, scanning for any signs of danger or threat. Hypervigilance—a hallmark response to trauma—is our body’s way of keeping us safe when we perceive that our environment may become dangerous. But this kind of heightened alertness, especially when prolonged, can become exhausting. It drains our energy and can make daily life feel overwhelming, as though we are carrying a heavy weight around all the time.

3. A Sense of Betrayal and Helplessness
For marginalized people, and especially those already affected by trauma, election results that undermine progress can feel like a profound betrayal. They can stir up memories of feeling powerless or unseen—moments where others made choices that deeply impacted us without our consent. This can create a painful sense of helplessness, where it feels like our voices or worth have been minimized. In therapy, we see this pattern where feeling “invisible” or unheard in society mirrors the same experiences people have faced in their personal lives, which only deepens the hurt and re-traumatization.

4. Fear of Retraumatization and Harm
For many marginalized individuals, election outcomes can represent a potential return to, or worsening of, circumstances they’ve fought to escape. When policies are passed that threaten safety, identity, or access to necessary resources, it can feel like reopening old wounds or facing the possibility of new ones. The fear of retraumatization—the sense that we could be pulled back into painful, harmful dynamics—can be a powerful and deeply unsettling trigger. This is a core reason why election season can be so distressing; it’s as if we’re fighting the same battles over and over, with no guarantee of true safety or protection.

5. Loss of Control and Agency
In trauma work, we focus a lot on restoring a sense of agency, or the ability to make choices that impact our lives in positive ways. When large, external forces like elections lead to outcomes that feel beyond our control, it’s as if our agency is stripped away. Marginalized groups often already feel this way due to systemic barriers, and election cycles can amplify that. Suddenly, our ability to protect ourselves or those we care about feels restricted, which can be a frightening and disempowering experience.

6. Collective Grief and Anger
Lastly, the election season can bring up collective grief—grief for the vision we hold of a more just society, grief for setbacks in rights or protections, grief for the countless people who might be harmed or left behind. Alongside grief, anger often rises to the surface as well. Anger is a natural, powerful response to injustice and can be a source of energy for activism and change. But for many of us, balancing these intense emotions while caring for our own mental and emotional health can be a delicate and difficult task.
 
The Power of Naming What We’re Feeling
One of the most grounding steps we can take is to name these complex emotions. When clients sit with the feelings that arise during moments of distress, they often feel a sense of relief in realizing, “Oh, that’s why I feel this way.” Naming emotions can validate our experience and remind us that our reactions make sense given the circumstances.
For some, this might look like identifying feelings of anger, sadness, or disappointment. For others, it might mean acknowledging the sense of helplessness, betrayal, or exhaustion that arises. Just as our bodies and minds try to protect us from physical threats, our emotions do the same in response to perceived social or emotional threats. If we can give ourselves permission to feel what we’re feeling without judging it or trying to “fix” it immediately, we can honor our own resilience and humanity.

Creating Space for Self-Compassion and Community
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a step back and prioritize self-care and connection with others. Spending time with people who get it can help ease the emotional toll of being caught up in a cycle of “fight or flight.” Sometimes, the most healing thing we can do is surround ourselves with a compassionate community that reminds us that we’re not alone in this.

In times like these, it can be helpful to consider some grounding practices:
  • Pause and Breathe: Give yourself a few moments each day to slow down and breathe. Simple, intentional breaths can calm the body’s stress response. 
  • Acknowledge What You’re Feeling: Allow space for the grief, anger, fear, or fatigue. Remember, emotions are natural responses and not something to fix but to feel and process. 
  • Engage in Meaningful Connection: Seek out relationships or groups that support and validate your experience. Being around people who understand can lessen the load. 
  • Take Action, if You’re Able: Even small steps can counter feelings of helplessness. Volunteering, raising awareness, or simply sharing your experience with others can help re-establish a sense of agency. 
  • If all else fails, just move your body:  Tap into the sense of freedom and autonomy that comes from knowing you can stand up and move, right now.
​
Moving Forward in Solidarity and Hope
The path forward can be both challenging and transformative; it is often in these moments of distress that we find our strength, courage, and resilience to keep going. As we process this election and its impact on our lives, let’s give ourselves permission to feel, to mourn, to be angry, and to seek connection. These responses are natural and are evidence of our humanity, our care for each other, and our commitment to a more compassionate, just, and inclusive world.



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Attachment parenting is a lot more then co-sleeping and carriers

7/26/2024

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Attachment theory suggests that our early interactions with primary caregivers shape our view of the world and our reactions within it. At birth, a child presents their most authentic self, expressing needs without concern for context or timing. A newborn, for example, simply knows they need milk and believes they are worthy of having that need met, without considering the sleep deprivation of their parent. They perceive their needs as inseparable from their caregiver's response, developing a sense of security if these needs are met consistently.
While we need our children to learn they are separate autonomous humans, in attachment parenting, we want that learning to be held alongside information showing them that, even though they aren’t one with us, they aren’t alone in the world either. We want them to know that they still matter and belong and that while they are too small and vulnerable to do it themselves, they can be kept safe.
If our children’s needs are met with attunement and validation consistently over the course of childhood they learn that who they are in the world matters, that their perception of things are real and valid and that they are safe to explore and learn. They go on to develop a secure sense of self and have an easy time remaining connected to their authentic self and valuing their authentic needs throughout life. While this seems simple in principle it doesn’t happen nearly as often as it should for us to remain a thriving society. Unfortunately, many well-intentioned parents struggle to consistently meet their children’s needs, leading to feelings of isolation and insecurity in their children. When children feel their survival is at risk, their thinking and functioning become impaired.
If parents are unavailable, either physically or emotionally, infants adapt by altering their behaviors to elicit the necessary response from caregivers. If they learn when they cry they are ignored, they may learn to conserve their energy and fend for themselves. If their cries are met with an overwhelmed or angry caregiver they may learn not to cry or to present their needs differently so that it is more tolerable for their caregiver. If they learn a caregiver is passed out and unresponsive unless they get loud, they learn to escalate. Through this process of learning what behavior brings their caregivers close and which parts of themselves their caregiver rejects the person learns how to present themselves in the world. This adaptive process is healthy if caregivers respond appropriately. However, misattunements can lead to lasting impacts on how children understand and present themselves to the world.
The transition from theory to practice in attachment parenting is complex. It is not merely about breastfeeding or babywearing; it is about providing a secure base for children. Keeping children close aids in attunement but is not the entire point. Healthy attachment involves the separation process, which permissive parenting—often confused with attachment parenting—fails to support.
One of the hardest parts about working from an attachment perspective is recognizing the parents own attachment wounds and understanding how that influences our ability to remain a secure base for our children. Fostering healthy attachment requires us to see both our children and ourselves as separate capable beings. If we have unmet needs or unhealed parts, our children differentiating from us can bring up doubt, fear, anger, confusion, sadness and many other emotions and then our children pick up on our feelings and react accordingly and in that process they lose some connection with their own needs and perceptions, setting the stage for transgenerational patterns.
For attachment parenting to go well, the caregiver has to have an understanding of their own triggers, needs and patterns. They must be resourced enough to be able to meet their own needs so that they can remain a resourced adult for their children. They must be able to balance the need to be a stronger wiser guide for their children with the awareness that their children are autonomous beings worthy of respect and compassion and whose feelings and perspectives need to be validated without allowing that to consume the entire interaction or dictate all decisions. It is a delicate balance and in our fast pace high demand world slowing down and finding this balance takes intention. 

#authenticity #parenting #attachmenttheory #attachmentparenting #securebase #COS #cptsd
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A day in the life of an overthinking therapist

2/26/2024

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It is often hard to find the time or the energy to express my feelings at the end of the day but after a weeks vacation and what happened today in Alabama I am here for it. This is my SOS to other therapists, healers and caretakers. I see you (and if I am completely honest I am not entirely sure how to best help) and I want you to know that you aren’t alone, you aren’t crazy and this job is complicated and has never been more important. Well at least I know I need to remind myself that right now so figured others may need to hear it too.
We are at a precipice. Months before our next presidential election, months after the start of a brutal and horrifying display of what fear can do and money can buy. I have to keep coming back to the moment, to the sound of Bluey in the background and my dog under my feet, to not lose it completely. Somehow I am supposed to be a guiding light for others, the stable base for my children to securely attach. I have already gotten to the point in my career I understand and have accepted I cannot save anyone and I am not the expert in anyone else’s life at best I can offer some adaptive information and techniques towards integration but man the ride has gotten so messy and accepting the limits of my control when it comes to parenting further complicates it.
I am blown away daily by people’s strength and resilience. While each person and their story is unique the common humanity that unites us is impossible to ignore. I have truly come to believe that we are all just looking for a sense of safety and belonging to be our authentic self and developing the skills necessary to navigate the inevitable ups and downs and discomforts of life. So why is it so damn hard?!?
I can see beauty and commonality in us all AND I can be terrified and shocked by the public displays of humanity I am witnessing around me. Gaza, Trump, today’s news that something happening to someone’s frozen embryos in a fertility clinic is being equated to manslaughter (yes, I know this is a bit dramatic and not entirely factually accurate but its not as far off as it seems), the examples seem endless and it is hard to hold these dialects. To constantly have to oscillate, to pendulate, between the internal and external, logic and emotion, nature and nurture, hypoarousal and hyperarousal, the good and the bad, student teacher, wounded healer. I am exhausted.
Our climate (both literally and figuratively) feels so unstable and we are depending on dysregulated people to make balanced decisions. It’s a fallacy. We are turning empaths into martyrs to uphold a system that is simultaneously destroying us and things are so damn backwards its hard to see a way out.
After 6 hours of individual therapy sessions, 4 of which were with healthcare providers in one capacity or another and a drive home occupied by news about Alabama I am keenly aware that the energy that I bring into the house will have a profound impact on the way the rest of the night will go- so I put it away. I greet my kids trying to demonstrate that they are what makes it worth it while knowing the juxtaposition between my attempted display of affection and connection and the internal fire that was raging inside of me is confusing at best. If I let myself, this is an easy place to spiral into all I know about attachment theory and all the ways my external stress is impacting their development and perception of themselves and the world, but I try desperately not to. Come back to my breath.
My husband asks how my day was and I start spewing about the problems in our healthcare system and begin spiraling to worst case scenarios about what it could mean for the future of our country if there is legal precedence for giving an embryo personhood. What does it mean for our LGBTQIA+ folks if we make IVF illegal. What does it mean for our already overburdened social service departments if we eliminate access to birth control. What does it mean for women who desperately want a baby but doing so could cost them their life. What does it mean for victims of assault who are impregnated against their will? The questions go on and on and I know I am not solving them tonight so I come back to the moment and lean into gratitude and go back to the mild form of dissociation required to function in the system. In and out, trying to remain grounded in the dissonance.
 
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The vital role of self care in helping others.

11/2/2023

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Self-care is not selfish; in fact, it's a prerequisite for effectively being of service to others. I vividly recall my time in grad school, where the mantra "we cannot give from an empty cup" and the wisdom of "putting on our oxygen mask before helping others" were constant reminders. While our program acknowledged the significance of self-care, the expectations and norms often made it a challenging endeavor. Little did I know that this was just the dress rehearsal for the demands I would encounter working in social service agencies, where scheduling over lunch and staying late were the norms.

I'll never forget a piece of advice from my first supervisor at my first "real" job in Connecticut. She warned me to be cautious about what I said yes to, as it would become the expectation. This counsel would only fully resonate with me years later. Many in the service industry are drawn to it because of their deep desire to help others. However, when compassion becomes a business, sustainability is at risk.

Recently, I was in conversation with an environmentalist about the shift from focusing on sustainability to regenerativity. It struck me that healthcare, too, needs to make this shift. We cannot continue living on fumes and then wonder why we're breaking down. We must let go of the ivory tower notion of the well treating the sick and embrace the truth that we are simply people treating other people. To continue this essential work, we must intentionally and regularly replenish ourselves.

Self-care doesn't have to be a grand indulgence involving bubble baths, candles, and fuzzy robes (although those are lovely). It can be as simple as saying no when needed, leaving the laundry for a warm cup of coffee, ignoring unread emails, doodling with a new pen, or taking a few moments to sit in your car before starting your day. What matters is that it leaves you feeling a bit more cared for and resourced than before.

So, how will you take care of yourself this weekend?

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Connection over Fear, Gratitude over Guilt

10/13/2023

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I want to be open about the fact that writing this message brings its own share of fear and vulnerability. It's not easy to discuss such sensitive and emotionally charged topics, and I, like many of you, hope that I'm thinking clearly in choosing to share these thoughts. In today's world, where discussions can quickly become polarized, I hope that we can approach these conversations with open hearts and a commitment to understanding one another.

​
I genuinely believe that fear is at the root of many of our problems. We are, at our core, animals, and like any other species, we become vulnerable to extinction when we perceive threats. In survival mode, nothing else matters.

When we are in the fight-or-flight response, our brain and body prioritize safety and survival above all else. This can lead to something as harmless as running away from a stick mistaken for a snake or as profoundly serious as harming someone because of their skin color.

Our thoughts hold immense power. They shape every interaction we have, and every interaction, in turn, influences the way we think. If we actively seek common ground, we are likely to find it. But the moment we perceive a threat, our ability to prioritize connection diminishes, and our primal instincts take over.

I continue to grapple with the situation in Israel, striving to find a balance and a sense of grounding amidst the options of avoidance, ignorance, and paralysis. As the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors, I've always felt the shadow of antisemitism and the potential dangers that fear of the 'other' can bring. Before World War II, Jewish people were depicted much as we see the portrayal of Palestinians today—stereotyped and dehumanized, which created emotional distance from the ethnic cleansing taking place. Fear of losing land and the fear of not having a place have fueled conflicts for the past 75 years, while the fear of being forgotten and overtaken, not seen, has driven inhumane behavior on both sides.

We are all plagued by fear. In this era of social media and novel ways to create 'in-groups' and 'out-groups,' it's an attempt to boost our sense of safety without necessarily pushing others away to connect.

Clarity of thought becomes elusive when we are gripped by fear. Coupled with the fact that the body can't distinguish between thought and reality, it underscores the importance of returning to the present moment, taking a deep breath, and grounding ourselves in our shared humanity and faith.
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Thoughts on the Israeli conflicts from a Jewish Social Worker

10/11/2023

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My heart goes out to family, friends and community in Israel. I am heartbroken and disgusted by the violence you are experiencing and will continue to look for ways to help.
 
As I navigate the complexities of this situation, I'm reminded of the importance of embracing a multifaceted perspective. It's clear that multiple truths can coexist, and holding hope while addressing the day-to-day challenges is indeed a heavy task.
 
In my work, I often stress the significance of mindfulness, which emphasizes the importance of being fully present in the moment. One of my clients shared a remarkable statistic: there's a 400 trillion to 1 chance of us existing as ourselves in this moment. This statistic underscores the preciousness of the present, so with my feet on the ground and my eyes wide open I show up for work and lean into the gratitude of my safety and wellbeing, and the day begins.
 
Yet, there's an undeniable tension between remaining present and thinking about the challenges faced by families and communities in Israel. In this moment, in my office, I am safe. However, a slight change in circumstances, a different familial connection, and I could be living through a situation of unimaginable hardship and I have family that are.
 
I tune back into my work, I hear the pain of client after client not feeling seen and the pain of disconnection and isolation.
 
I zone out, I scroll Facebook and I see posts from Jewish acquaintances expressing support and solidarity with one another during these trying times. They share their experiences of receiving support or the absence of it from the larger community. What's most striking is the silence, a lack of outcry against the antisemitism fueling the violence.
 
I must admit that memorizing historical details has never been my forte. However, I've found myself drawing a parallel between the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and historical events like the plight of Native Americans and Christopher Columbus. Two things can be true and the inability of people to tolerate that discomfort has led to ongoing violence and unfathomable destruction to one of these groups and tarnished the history of both forever.
 
It's poignant that while violence ravages Israel, the United States celebrates Indigenous People's Day, and Jewish communities worldwide celebrate Sukkot. These occasions serve as a reminder of gratitude for the fall season, the harvest, and the protection our ancestors sought on their 40-year journey after leaving Egypt.
 
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is undeniably complex, and perspectives on the rights to the land vary depending on who you speak with and the sources of information you consult. When I visited Israel with Birthright 19 years ago, I could feel the tension and animosity, and it was evident that both sides were suffering. I do not condone the ongoing discrimination of Palestinians, just as I do not condone what Columbus did and yet I can adamantly oppose the terrorism of Hamas. I can recognize the importance of the Jewish people having a safe place to land after a history of genocide and disagree with aspects of the current Israeli Government. Just as I can maintain my connection to being an American and disagree with many of the decisions of our Government. However, it would be unfair not to acknowledge the privilege inherent in the ability to do this.
 
Irrespective of the intricacies, the current situation in Israel calls for a united response. It reminds me of the unity that emerged in the aftermath of the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001. Back then, there was no question of who deserved the land; there was a shared awareness that the violence was unacceptable, and innocent lives should not be lost. That same compassion and common humanity should extend to Israel.
 
As Jews, we must recognize that we are not exempt from biases, and adversity presents an opportunity for growth. Regardless of our backgrounds and beliefs, we can all stand together against terrorism, hatred, and violence, and advocate for compassion and healing.
 
In times like these, when we oscillate between mindful connection and self-preservation, between hope and survival mode, it's essential to remember that we are not alone. Together, we can face the complexities of this world and do the grueling work towards a more peaceful and just future for all.
 
Finding the balance is hard but it's easier with the support of others, and I welcome your perspective and the opportunity to have a thoughtful dialogue.
 
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